Wellness
Get in touch - Book a call with me
People ask "why are you always happy all the time, Zhi?".
The truth is - I'm not, all the time.
Having been through personal challenges, I've learnt the tools to be happy. And I'd love to share them with you. I know I'll be able to help you work through your challenges. What you may not realise is happiness is already within you. It is innate. It's been there all along. You simply need to realise this. You are perfect and nothing needs to change.
Some call this state of being "grace", some call it "inner peace", "Buddha nature". I found it.
Mental Meltdown
In 2019, I crashed. A mental meltdown. Physically, I felt my breath get sucked away. My blood drained from my body filling it with a palpable hollowness. I was at work. My desire to please my client had resulted in defensive behaviours, almost as if I was trying too hard to justify everything I did.
It took me 5 years to crawl out of that hole. It was a trigger for years of rumination, worrying that I wasn't good enough, that I wasn't meeting the expectations of others, trying to be the perfect father, husband, son, business owner, consultant. On the outside, you'd never know. I kept a positive facade, but every morning I woke up and caved in to anxiety and depression, before tidying up that brave front and walking out the door.
Tried Everything
I tried therapy, psycho-therapy, medication, cognitive behavioural therapy, gratitude journaling, yoga, sound healing, breathwork, breathing physiotherapy, shakti mats, binaural beats, reiki (the list goes on). I read self-help books, articles, listened to wellness podcasts, watched motivational videos, installed mindfulness apps. I think I explored every modality of healing and self-help that was available to me.
Breaking Free
Then one day, after 4 years of darkness and depression, fighting every day like everything was against me, I broke free.
22 January 2023. It was a classic summer's morning in Kawakawa Bay, our 3rd of a 4 day rockclimbing trip. I stood on the second ledge of Captain Caveman, a multi-pitch climb. It was then I saw my life shift before me.
My best friend and climbing partner Vijay, was ascending the last of 3 pitches 100 metres above sea level. Unfamiliarity with the route resulted in a zigzagging rope with friction making ascending an ever-increasingly difficult task. For 90 minutes, I stood on a ledge belaying, with little sight into what Vijay was battling above. The rain came in. Tunnel vision got the better of me and all I could think of was getting the climb over and done with. I had been facing the wall all this time.
In the moment, time stood still. It dawned upon me that every bad thing that's happened to me actually led up to this. Beat, tired and soaked in rain. But at the same time, I was there with my best friend... in the most beautiful bay teeming with birdlife and soothing sounds of waves lapping against the quiet shoreline. All I had to do was PAUSE.
In life, you're always running to something. To breakfast, to work, to a meeting, groceries, chores, running to the place people expect you to be, to the place you expect people to be at.
Stop running. I am now OKAY. And I want you to be OKAY.
Get in touch - Book a call with me
Staying Free
Moving on 2 years later (2025), I thought I had broken free, but I hadn't. Whilst my new perspective gave me the grace to manage, it wasn't until I was involved in an accident that I truly understood what I thought I had learnt in 2023.
14 July 2025 - I was cycling home from work on the Tamaki Drive cycle path when I pulled over to help a cyclist with a puncture. 2-3 second later, I heard "Sh*ttttt...." from behind me. An e-biker crashed into me, causing both our bodies and bikes to hurtle into the air. He landed with a dislocated shoulder, whereas I escaped, still badly injured with a strained rotator cuff, bruised abductor muscles and an IT-band injury. I managed to cycle home but could not walk after I got off the bike. I spent 4 hours at White Cross getting examined and thankfully nothing was broken. Was I mad? Yes - I felt sorry for myself because I was still recovering from another injury. I was angry at the person who crashed into me. My bike was damaged and I was already busy enough with life that the thought of taking it in for repair was inconceivably stressful. I was frustrated that I wouldn't be able to walk or exercise for the next few weeks. I was hurting inside out.
But then I remembered Ajahn Brahm's podcast episode on "Control and Freedom". It is only in letting go of control that you find true freedom. I was alive (I could've died. I could've suffered a concussion). I still have an arm, and a leg, family and friends, a home to live in, a stable income ... this list of blessings grew in my head until I realised a truth that reinforced what I had discovered at Kawakawa Bay in 2023 - You cannot control the course of your life (Everything good or bad that's happened to you makes you who you are for the better). Trying to control everything (or wanting things to be different to what they are) is the cause of suffering. We are however in control of how we respond to the things that happen to us.
Book my 1-on-1 Coaching Offerings
On-demand Grounding
Format: 30-minutes video call
Structure:
- 10-minute guided meditation exercise (self-love, mindfulness, body scan or similar).
- 10-minute coaching discussion
- 10-minute breathing exercise (belly breathing, 4-7-8 breathing or similar)
12 Week "You are OK" Transformation
Format: 45-minute video call per week for 12 weeks, with 1 homework exercise per week. I use visual techniques for coaching, drawing from my strengths in corporate and team coaching. However, some clients also prefer a casual coffee-style chat.
Coaching Call
Format: 55-minute video call on topics related to stress management, self-care and mindfulness. I adopt an integrated approach, looking at human wellness as a whole, and how all aspects of your life are affecting your wellness, specifically:
- Sleep
- I share my journey into breaking free from doomscrolling, and the habits and routine I put in place
- Exercise
- I share how I tweaked over months a consumable 15 minute bodyweight workout, that I do every day.
- I share simple meditation exercises and apps I have used.
- Purpose / goals
- I will help you discover your goals in life. Mine shifted from work (helping people to work in better ways) to a more personal one (helping people love life).
- Gratitude
- I'll get you started on how to find gratitude in the little things, and show you how to get started with the powerful habit of gratitude journalling.
- Relationships
- I will show you how to make the best of your relationships (in any state).
- Financial-wellbeing
- Owning a small business for a decade has taught me many things about finances. I would love to share my insights with you.
Get in Touch
Follow Me
Follow me on Insights Timer where I have a couple of 4.5 star rated guided meditations for anxiety / depression.
Check out The Decompression Podcast.
I am an Action for Happiness course facilitator. Happiness Habits is a secular, science-based course created by Action for Happiness. It combines expert-led insights, practical exercises, and supportive group discussions. I have facilitated the Auckland-based Happiness Habits course.
Books and Resources that Have Helped Me
Heart-Minded by Sarah Blondin - This book reminded me that all you need to do in tough times is to turn inward and know that your heart is there to support you. The audiobook is highly recommended as the book is narrated by the author and her sincerity is heartfelt. Both audio and paperback books come with really easeful meditation tracks. The audiobook is available on Spotify and Audible.
New Happy by Stephanie Harrison - We've got the definition of "happy" all wrong. Stephanie discusses that true happiness comes from cultivating meaningful connections.
The Vagus Nerve Reset by Anna Ferguson - the story of how Anna healed herself from trauma. She shares exercises to help you do the same.
CES Therapy - I use this on it's lightest setting to help me relax before bed. Put a drop of saline (salt water) on each ear clip.
Affirmation Cards - Start the day right with these beautiful pocket sized affirmation cards!
Inspirational Instagrams